How to relieve psychological stress

There is no one-size-fits-all solution. The key is to first catch your own emotions and avoid internal friction, and then choose a way to adapt to your own rhythm. Don't copy other people's "standard answers".

Not long ago, when I was helping a colleague to provide psychological counseling for public welfare, I met a girl who works in cross-border e-commerce. She has been rushing for the Black Friday and Christmas promotions for half a year. Every day when she opens her eyes, there are more than a dozen unread voice messages, and the screen is filled with messages of urging goods and changing plans. She used to follow the "Efficient Stress Relief Guide" on the Internet to force herself to get up early every morning and go for a morning run and participate in social activities on weekends. She joined the book club and almost collapsed after persisting for half a month. Later, she stopped all these "decompression tasks" and spent 15 minutes working on puzzles on the sofa every day before going to bed. She only turned on the small warm yellow desk lamp next to her. She didn't have to think about her performance or reply to messages. Within a month, she said that her previous feeling of heartache when her phone rang was much better.

In fact, many people have misunderstandings about decompressing. They always think that effective decompression requires "being positive" and "rewarding". "Useless" things such as watching short videos and being paralyzed in a daze do not count. Many people even admire "pressure is motivation" and feel that if you push through it, you will grow. These statements are not wrong, but they are indeed not suitable for everyone. The academic community has always had different research tendencies in dealing with stress. Researchers who support "stress promotes growth" believe that moderate controllable stress can activate the motivation system and help people break through the boundaries of abilities. However, scholars who study chronic stress also clearly point out that long-term stress that exceeds the individual's tolerance threshold will continue to consume psychological reserves, even affect sleep and immunity, and in severe cases will lead to a decline in emotional regulation ability. No statement is absolutely correct, and the core ruler is always your own feelings.

It’s easy to say that stress is like the cold wind that pours into the collar when it rains. Some people are used to running back indoors to change into dry clothes, while others like to stand in the wind and wait for the wind to slowly warm the collar. There is no need to do it the way others do. If you encounter acute and sudden stress, such as you are about to speak on stage or negotiate with a difficult customer, you can find a corner where no one is and do three 478 breaths - inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds. Most of the tension will be relieved immediately. ； If you have accumulated chronic stress for several months, you don’t have to rush to get rid of all the bad emotions. Today you ate an extra bowl of your favorite sugar water, stopped for an extra two minutes on the way to get off work to watch the orange sunset, or even just sat in the car for 10 minutes after getting home. There is no need to rush to play the role of husband, wife, or employee. These small things actually relax the tense nerves.

I have seen too many people suffer from the internal conflict of "I can't even manage my emotions well" because of "Why haven't I adjusted my stress yet?" It's really unnecessary. It's not a bad thing to allow yourself to move forward with a little pressure occasionally.