What is the relationship between parenting and children’s health?

To put it simply, parenting behavior is almost the lowest influencing factor on children’s health. From the frequency of colds during seasonal changes to the emotional state of adolescence and even the risk of chronic diseases in adulthood, they are all closely related to the details of early parenting.

I have been working as a child care worker in the community for almost five years, and I have seen too many cases with great contrast. Two boys of the same age in the same community, one of whom was raised by an old man, had to watch cartoons before eating, and never stopped snacking. They were overweight as soon as they started primary school. , I have three cavities, and I have to get infusions for fever when the season changes. Another mother has been practicing independent eating since she was a child. She only gives natural foods such as plain nuts and steamed corn for snacks, and ensures two hours of outdoor activities every day. She is now almost four years old, and has almost never been to the hospital except for vaccinations. There is now a lot of controversy on this point. For example, the "refined feeding" advocated by many people. Some parents think that the ingredients should be pureed and chopped into small pieces to facilitate digestion. Many clinicians also point out that eating too refined food for a long time will make children's chewing and digestive functions insufficiently exercised. On the contrary, they will be prone to late teething and frequent food accumulation. There is no absolute right or wrong at present. It is more about adjusting to the child's development rhythm.

Everyone is more or less aware of the visible physiological effects, but the psychological effects hidden in daily interactions often take several years to show up. Last year, I came into contact with a seven-year-old child with tics. He went to several hospitals to check and found no organic disease. Finally, during a family interview, I found out that his parents were very strict with him. He would be scolded if he was slow to eat. If he failed to score 95 points on the test, he would be punished by standing. Even playing with toys had to be accurate to the minute. The child's long-term tense emotions could not be released, and eventually turned into physical symptoms. It just so happens that everyone is discussing the necessity of "frustration education" recently. One group of people believes that children need to be suppressed more from an early age in order to develop resistance to frustration. The other group insists that meaningless scolding will only damage the child's sense of security. The real ability to resist frustration is developed with sufficient support. There is no unified quantitative standard in the academic world. The core is to adapt to the child's own personality tolerance.

In addition to physical and mental aspects, parenting style also affects children's social adaptability, which is also an important component of "health" in the WHO's definition. Not long ago, I met a child who was being evaluated for kindergarten admission. Whenever he met a stranger, he hid behind his grandma and refused to say anything when asked. Later I found out that her grandma was always afraid that he would be disadvantaged when raising a baby. She would take him away whenever other children came near, and rarely let him have contact with his peers. As a result, the child did not know how to get along with others, and even the first step into a group was extremely difficult.

In fact, the relationship between parenting and health is a bit like planting a fruit tree. When you water it and how you prune it will not only affect the current growth, but will also determine whether it can withstand pests and produce good fruit in the future. Many of the effects are subtle. Many parents always want to buy the most expensive supplements for their children and sign up for the best physical classes. Instead, they ignore the most basic parenting details such as eating well, talking well, and providing a sense of security. In fact, these are the core of laying the foundation for children's health.