Mental health beauty articles

There is no need to force yourself to be emotionally stable at all times, nor do you need to apply various "healing formulas". The core is to leave about 30% of the elastic buffer zone for your psychology, and allow yourself to have moments when you are in poor condition, don't want to work hard, or even feel a little "dead".

Last month, I met a girl who was in the second year of high school at the school. Her mock test score was 3 points lower than the previous year's score of the target school. She went home and cried for two hours. She turned around and started scolding herself for being "mentally fragile and worthless." She couldn't help but drink milk tea for three days and wrote in her diary, "Why am I so undisciplined?" When she came, she clutched a wrinkled list of emotional management books and said that she had tried "mindful breathing" for half a month, but she became even more anxious. I made a request to her at that time: she must set aside one afternoon of "meaningless time" every week. She could squat downstairs and feed ants, and she could read unnutritious comics for an afternoon. She was not allowed to think about studying or blame herself for "wasting time." It only took two months. When her mother came back, she said that the girl's grades were much more stable now, she could even hum songs and buy fried skewers on the way home from school, and she never said she had "psychological problems" again.

Interestingly, psychological practitioners with different orientations have different interpretations of this "buffer zone". If you ask a psychoanalyst-oriented counselor, they will explain this buffer zone as "an outlet for subconscious emotions." Many people have headaches, insomnia, and can't eat for no reason, and there is nothing wrong with them after all the physical examinations. In fact, the emotions are blocked in the subconscious and have no place to go, and they turn into physical symptoms. ； Consultants from the cognitive-behavioral school are more likely to believe that leaving a buffer zone is essentially to break the "must thinking" in our minds - you don't have to be a perfect parent, you have to be the first in the exam, you have to be better than all your colleagues, and occasionally falling off does not mean that you have failed as a whole. Even in the past, people always believed that "you should always be positive" in positive psychology. Tracking studies in recent years have also shown that people who allow negative emotions to express naturally have a long-term happiness index that is about 30% higher than those who force themselves to stay happy.

Of course, some people ask, is this buffer zone just left to its own devices? In fact, there is no unified conclusion in the industry on this point. Most teachers who do youth counseling will think that as long as the child does not harm himself, it is perfectly fine to lie down for a week or two to calm down. However, forcing him to "cheer up" will easily suppress his emotions into a big problem. ； However, clinicians who have been exposed to many depression interventions will remind you that if you don’t want to do anything for more than 7 days and have no interest in the things you liked before, it is best to find a professional for investigation to avoid developing a pathological mood disorder. After all, buffering is for walking more steadily in the future, not just lying in a pit without getting out.

I met a young man who works in Internet operations a while ago. He used to force himself to take 2 hours of operations classes and memorize vocabulary for half an hour every day after work. He also had to schedule a full schedule of fitness and store visits on weekends, so that there was not even a minute in his schedule. At the end of last year, he was so anxious that his hands shook as soon as he opened the work software, and even drinking water felt like a waste of time. Later, I changed my rules after listening to suggestions: when I get tired from get off work, I just watch "Tom and Jerry". I set aside a whole day every week as a "no-goal day". I don't make any plans. I just play games when I want, and I sleep when I want. On the contrary, my efficiency has improved in the past two months, and I successfully passed the professional qualification certificate exam that I had been waiting for for half a year.

In fact, to put it bluntly, our psychology is like a spring. If you keep pulling it as tight as possible, it will lose its elasticity sooner or later. Only by relaxing it occasionally can you always be able to withstand things. Oh, by the way, I read a public research data from the Sixth Hospital of Peking University before. It said that people who allow themselves to have 3 to 5 days of "low mood" every month have a 47% lower risk of anxiety and depression than people who require themselves to be in a positive mood at all times. This is not chicken soup, it is real follow-up data.

In fact, there is no perfect "mental health template". I've seen people get over it after running ten kilometers after being sad, and I've also seen people get over it after crying and eating spicy hot pot. You don't have to follow online tutorials to force yourself to "meditate", "emotional management" and "high emotional intelligence expression". You feel comfortable and don't affect the people around you, which is the best state. After all, we live not to be emotional saints, but to live a meaningful life.