What is emotion regulation theory?

Emotion regulation theory is a theoretical framework in the field of psychology that specializes in studying how individuals adjust the intensity and direction of emotion generation, experience, and expression to adapt to the needs of the current scene. The core is to answer the two core questions of "why people can control emotions and how to control them more effectively."

Don’t think that this is some academic concept floating in the air. In fact, you use the methods in this theory unconsciously every day: when you are stepped on by someone during the morning rush hour, you are about to get angry. When you look up and see the other person carrying a heavy pregnant belly, you quickly apologize, and your anger disappears instantly. This is your subconscious use of the strategy of "cognitive reappraisal". When you look at the matter from a different angle, your mood will naturally change.； Even if I work overtime until I break down and then turn around to receive a communication call from a client, I can still speak softly and calmly. This is "response conditioning". It's not too late to lie down on the table and cry after hanging up the phone.

When I was a resident psychology teacher in a middle school, I met a child in the third grade of junior high school. As soon as he took the mock test, his palms became sweaty and his mind went blank. His parents used to force him to "don't be nervous, don't be nervous." But the more they pushed him, the more serious the situation became. Later, we used the "situation preset" method in emotional regulation to ask him to arrive at the exam room 10 minutes before each exam. Instead of talking to his classmates about review, he would lie on the table and listen to two rap songs that he liked. Then he changed the idea of ​​"I must get into the top 10" to "I just need to write all the questions correctly." After adjusting for less than a month, his anxiety self-assessment score for the mock exam dropped by almost 30%, and he had no problem performing normally.

Speaking of which, the evaluation standards for emotional regulation in the academic world are not yet completely unified. One group believes that as long as the individual feels comfortable after adjustment, the other group believes that the adaptability of social functions must be taken into account - for example, if you are wronged and cry on the spot during the year-end report, even if you feel happy after crying, it will affect the judgment of your colleagues and leaders on your professionalism, so it is not a completely successful adjustment. When we provide front-line services, we usually combine the two standards and do not stick to the definitions in the book. After all, the first thing to live is to be comfortable, and the second is to meet the expectations of the outside world.

Many people have a misunderstanding about this theory. They think that emotional regulation means "suppressing negative emotions" and keeping everything in mind. In fact, this is not the case at all. A previous ten-year follow-up study showed that people who habitually suppress negative emotions for a long time are about 30% more likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease than ordinary people. Good regulation actually allows negative emotions to exist, but just prevents them from getting out of control and interfering with normal life. It is a bit like putting a trash can at home. You don’t fill the living room with garbage, but you don’t have to hide the trash can so tightly that you can’t see it. Just empty it when it’s full. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

This theory is still being updated. In the past, it was generally believed that only adults with mature cognition could actively regulate their emotions. Later, research found that half-year-old babies can relieve the anxiety of being stared at by strangers by turning their faces away and biting their hands. This can be regarded as broadening everyone's understanding of emotion regulation.